Goodbyes

I swung by West Side Tattoo today to get my piercings removed (one of the 8 precepts of a layperson seeking refuge in a monastery requires that they renounce attachments... including adornments and, in my case, hair) and to say goodbye. But, if my mum asks, removing the piercings are her mother's day gift.
The guys have known about the trip to Thailand before it was even a reality. Aaron and I still haven't finished the leg sleeve which was inspired by my summer in Maui, so he jokes that he's curious to see what ideas I'll come back with this time.
He also said he's excited to see how much I grow from this. I'm sure it will be a lot. In an email my exboyfriend said "I'm sure you'll come back from this experience as changed as you were the first time you went to find yourself." I guess he means Maui. I'm extremely lucky, I've traveled quite a bit and every time its revolutionized my life, but I've never traveled alone to this extent. I've never had that much freedom or responsibility in a foreign place. I've never changed my own money, I've never had to find a place to sleep each night, I've never had to look at a map and decide "where next?"
I'm excited to know the person I'm currently becoming, she seems really great.
I tried to slip out of West Side with a quick "I have an appointment to finish the sleeve on September 13th! See you then!"
He wouldn't let me out the door like that. He stopped tattooing and gave me a big hug and, like everyone else, demanded that I be safe. He also said that if anything goes wrong, if I get into any sort of trouble, big or small, to call them and they'll bail me out. And he was dead serious and I got tears in my eyes.
Those guys are definitely my second family. (A family that supports my body modifications-- awesome!) Brian gave me a giant hug as soon as I walked in and said "shouldn't you get the hell out of the country now?" and Chris and I spent some time a month ago pouring over a book of asian architecture, much of which in Thailand and Cambodia. Toast asked me which monasteries I was looking out and what the buddhist hours are (wake up call at 3:30 am usually)
Yesterday I went to say goodbye to the guys of Edifice and had a similar bitter-sweet feeling.
It's amazing to suddenly find myself surrounded by such a beautiful and loving support system of people in this town--- and very surprising. It makes it hard to leave, but makes coming back from paradise ok.