inDecisive D

At dinner the other night Eddie asked me if I was a Gemini because he'd offered me a "chip" and I said that's okay then he offered again and I said "ok" and it's gone like this for days. I go back and forth on all choices, big and small. Mostly because both results are good, I can't pick!
That's the thing with traveling alone. Infinite decisions and complete self-reliance to make them.
If I've discovered one thing about myself from this trip, its the fact that I desire a lot of outside validation. (Cami I hope you're reading this)
I want someone to give me a slight nod when I make completely independent decisions. It's really not like this when I'm in my natural surroundings, but halfway around the world? I don't know what I'm doing/eating/saying half the time. I at least want the chance to bounce these choices off of someone. Its hard to just have them rolling around in my skull, bouncing into each other and creating chaos.
Pat, a thai girl I met in pai was so astounded by the fact that I'm traveling alone without my boyfriend (side note, EVERYONE in asia wants to know if you have a boyfriend. It's 1) "Where you come from?" 2 "Where you go?" and 3"where's your boyfriend?" Consequently I took all my lovely guy friends and conglomerated them into one person and invented quite the charming guy to fill in as an answer when I don't really feel like explaining my love of being single to a culture that thinks in totally different terms.)
Anyway, back to pat, she was so astounded that she gave me her email and phone number and wants to be "best friends so I learn to brave adventure like you"
I was sitting at Pae Gate this evening, hoping Atomic got my email in time, which he didn't when I saw a guy sitting on a bench, perfectly upright and glowing. Instantly I could tell he was a meditator. Quite a staunch one in fact and I think there was a reason behind me meeting Paul the British meditation afficianado. He had to go meet his brother but we'll talk more tomorrow. Already he's dissuaded some of my disillusionment.
If I go to the wat on the mountain for three weeks I'll still have three more weeks in Thailand before I have to get on another china airlines flight-- those buggers. One week back in pai then 2 in Ko Tao? That's more than most people can ever ask for and I feel very blessed.
One thing Tony said to try and help me with decision making is to ask myself how I'll feel in 6 months. I think I would always wonder what the wat would be like. You don't get many opportunities like this.